Today was very anticlimactic for me.
I didn’t shed a single tear like I thought I would.
I didn’t even take any pictures. (And most of you know I LOVE pictures!)
This must mean I’m ready. I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready for what lies ahead.
Maybe some of this is due to the fact that I’ve been transitioning out of the role for over a month. So, it’s not like it was a sudden decision. Nobody was shocked. Everyone knew what was happening.
I will say, though, that this week has been different than any other week at this position.
The reason being: I let my hair down. I took my cape off.
For whatever reason, I tended to confine myself to my desk and not get up much during the day to talk to other coworkers. I zeroed in on my work and that was it. If I had client meetings or if I had to teach a class, of course that was a different story. But. for the most part, I kept to myself.
This week, however, I was more sociable. (Probably because I knew I was going to be out of the door in a few days.)
I had chats with my coworkers that lasted over an hour. And I didn’t feel bad about it.
Now, I don’t know why I would feel bad in the first place. My supervisor and I shared the same office space and she got up to chat with coworkers all of the time.
Honestly, I think part of it was that I still had that “clock-in, clock-out” mentality that I developed at my previous job. I only got paid for the hours I worked, so every hour had to count.
Whereas with a salaried position, you still get paid if you goof off all day, pretty much. But that was never an option for me because, you already know: #superwomansyndrome.
Plus integrity, responsibility, character, all of that fun stuff.
So, anyway, like I was saying, I took some liberties this week and I felt so warm inside! I really love connecting with people in an authentic way. I didn’t realize how much I had been needing to really just have breathing room at work. The whole two and a half years working there, I didn’t really allow myself that freedom.
Yesterday, two of my coworkers and I pretty much had church right up in the office! We were encouraging one another with Scripture and just pouring into each other.
I said, “Why is this the first time this is happening?!”
My cowoker simply said, “Because this is the time it was supposed to happen.”
Although I could look at this scenario as having missed out on countless moments like that in weeks and months prior, I choose not to.
I see it as growth that occurred within me at a specific time for a specific reason. And because of the timeliness of it, I could aid in someone’s journey since I wasn’t so wrapped up in my own world. I took time to actively seek out a safe space and to trust that it was indeed safe.
This is definitely a lesson that I will take forward. I know it in theory but it’s a little harder to recognize in practice.
Here’s the lesson: relationships matter. Sometimes more than the actual J-O-B.
Taking time away to get up from my desk and connect with others is not only helpful for my own energy and wellbeing, but it also blesses others in the process. It’s a win-win.
There’s so much more I could say on this topic—like how I tend to compartmentalize pieces of my life and feel more comfortable in some settings than others, etc.— but I’ll leave that for another blog post.
All in all, I just wanted to mention that 1.) yes, the shift out of the job has finally happened and 2.) I’m feeling confident and content!
I’m going to monitor the pattern I mentioned earlier. I’d encourage you to join in on the self-inventory!
What are some other times where I focus on the “right thing” (working diligently at my desk) instead of focusing on the “best thing” (pouring into coworkers)?
What would happen if I switched priorities? What does that say about my view of self and others?
My first thought is that I’d probably think I’m being judged if I was caught “slacking off.”
Judged by whom? I don’t know.
Who defines “slacking off?” Those same unknown people.
The thread goes on and on if you keep pulling at it.
Anyway, rant over!
Although my last day wasn’t as emotional as I thought it was going to be, my last week proved to be very powerful. I opened myself up to new experiences and was met with so much love!
Is any of this relatable?
Reply with your thoughts! Thanks for sharing in the journey.
Until Next Time,